A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. A girl said: My father grows beans. A boy said: “My mother cooks beans. A third student said: We are all human beans. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
A Lady was conducting her anti-drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar oozing liquor vapor and the Lady stated, “Reflect !!! In the event that you touch base at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor… Do
The junior executive had been grumbling to his wife of a throbbing painfulness. Neither one could account for his inconvenience. Arriving home from work one night, he told her. “At last I have discovered why I’ve been feeling so hopeless. We got some ultra-modern office
Last night I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach. At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist. “I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “He’s out right now, but…” “Thank you,” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again ?” Please rate this How
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are best friends, I don’t want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like you to know that I have mentioned you in my will.” “That is very kind of you,”
A thief put a man at gunpoint and said, “Give me your money.” The man, shocked by the sudden attack, said, “You can’t do this, I’m a congressman!” The thief replied, “In that case, give me MY money!” Please rate this How would you rate
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. Shoplifter (To the manager): Listen, I know you don’t want any trouble either. What if I just buy this watch and we forget about this? Manager agreed and told him
Guy (To birthday guy): Hey, happy birthday. Birthday Guy: Thanks. Guy (To birthday guy): So what did you get on your birthday? Birthday Guy: I got older. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were in a small private plane, when suddenly an emergency was declared as the plane’s engine developed some problem. inspite of the best efforts from the pilot, the plane started going down. Finally the pilot
A college physics professor was explaining a somewhat complicated concept to his class, when a pre-medical student interrupted him and the following conversation started: Pre Medical Student: Why do we have to learn this? Professor: To save lives. Professor continued his lecture again, but soon
Police: Knock Knock Me: Who is it? Police: Police Me: What do you want? Police: We want to talk. Me: How many people are you? Police: Two. Me: Then talk to each other. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Major: We have lost the battle sir. Colonel: Well then go and find it. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver this packet to you. The Recipient: Why did you travel so far? You could rather have posted it simply. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Patient: Doctor, whereever I touch it hurts. Doctor: What do you mean? Patient: Wherever I touch my shoulders, it really hurts, if i touch my knees, it really hurts, if I touuch my forehead, it realy hurts. Doctor: I know what’s wrong with you. You
Son: Dad can I have $50? Dad: $50. Do you think money grows on trees? Son: What is money made of? Dad: Paper. Son: And where does paper come from? Dad: Takes out his wallet and gives $50 to his son without a single word.
Recently I was conversing with my doctor and in the wake of knowing my occupation and employment structure he prompted: You should exercise more. Try not to purchase cold drinks from stalls. Beer and whiskey better to stay away from totally. Drink lots of plain
Wife asked her husband, “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor!” Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
My friend thinks he is too smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
A Polish man moved to USA and marrried an American lady. Although his English was not that good, they got along pretty well. One day he went to the lawyer and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said getting
Yesterday my mixer stopped, so I went to my neighbor to borrow theirs. They asked me to use the mixer in their house only. So I did. This morning, my neighbor came to borrow my broomstick, so I asked them to use it in my
Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Patient (To Person): Doctor, I think I need glasses. Person (To Patient): You certainly do, this is a bank not hospital. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
To give you an idea of the sort of season we’ve had, the guy who took care of our side of the scoreboard was sick and absent for three weeks and nobody noticed. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Kid: Can i go pee? Teacher: After you sing the alphabets. Kid: a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z Teacher: Where’s “p”? Kid: It went down my