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Monthly Archives: May 2018

Patient Swallowed Razor Blade

Doctor: Please don’t rush. Patient: My son swallowed a razor-blade. Doctor: Try not to panic, I’m coming instantly. Have you done anything while i was on the way? Yea, I shaved with the other electric razor. Please follow and like us: Please rate this How

Responsible Person Needed For Job 5/5 (1)

Boss: In this job we require somebody who is responsible. Candidate: I am the one you want. On my last job, every time something turned out badly, they said I was responsible. Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would you rate this

Maths Test For Housewife Accountant And Lawyer

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked “How much is 2 + 2?” Housewife: It’s Four. Accountant: I believe it’s either 3 or 4. Give me a chance to run those figures through my spreadsheet once again.” The lawyer pulls the window hangings,

Dentist Wants His Patient To Scream 5/5 (1)

A dentist, subsequent to finishing his work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you please give out your loudest, most excruciating screams? Patient: Why doctor? It wasn’t that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many patients in the waiting room, and

Give Me A Good Excuse

A man was speeding his car above the allowed limit. He saw a cop’s car following his car. He thought, he can surpass this guy, so he drove faster and the race was on. As his speedometer passed 100, the man thought, “What the hell,”

Two Things Must For This Job

Boss: If you are going to work here young fellow, the second most important thing you should learn is that we are extremely enthusiastic about cleanliness in this organisation. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in? Candidate: Oh, definitely, sir.

Employee Who Believed In Life After Death

Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: Yes sir. Boss: Indeed, that makes everything just fine. After you exited early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she visited the office to see you. Please follow and like us: Please rate this How

Daughter Swallowed A Contraceptive Pill

A doctor, who was completely tired and exhausted from his whole day work, was sleeping peacefully at home on his bed, when suddenly he was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the night. It was a mother of a girl on call,

Last Wish From Husband To Wife

A man and his wife were sitting in the lounge and he said to her, “Just to make sure you know, I never want to live in a coma state, dependent on some machine and liquids from a bottle. If in case that ever happens,

The Lawyer’s Funeral

A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and is overwhelmed and surprised to see so many people gathered at his funeral. He turns towards them and inquires, “Why are all of you at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all

Husband Trying To Be Loyal

A woman gets back home and discovers her husband in bed with another woman. She got angry and shouts on her husband, “You vowed not to cheat on me again!” The husband replies, “Darling, can’t you see I’m trying? I’ve cut down.” Please follow and

Teacher Teaching Mathematics To Dumb Student

A teacher was trying hard to make her dumb student understand mathematics. Teacher: Mathematics is not that difficult. Why can’t you understand it? Student: I am sorry madam. Please guide me, I will concentrate and learn soon. Teacher: Okay, tell me if you have 10

Cop Investigating A Drunk Driver

A cop stops a drunk driver and asks him, “How high are you?” The drunk man replies, “This is wrong English. You should say ‘Hi how are you?’” Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would you rate this joke?

Picture Of Cow Eating Grass

The teacher asked the students to draw the best picture they can draw. When she was going through the drawings submitted by the students, she saw one and called Harry who drew it. Teacher: What is this? Harry: Picture of a cow eating grass. Teacher:

Advice From Men To Women

– Never purchase a “new” brand of beer because “it was on sale”. – If we are in the lawn and the TV in the lodge is on, that doesn’t mean we are not watching it. – Don’t tell anybody we can’t afford a new

Call Me An Ambulance

A severely injured and hence terrified man calls 911 for help. Man: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance! Operator (In a relaxed tone): Okay, sir, you are an ambulance! Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would you rate this joke?

Dedicated Football Fan

John was at the stadium watching football match between his favorite teams. The stadium was fully packed, however there was only one empty seat, which was next to John. A guy sitting next to John got curious and questioned John: Guy: Who does that seat

Slapping Lie Detector Robot

A man purchases a lie detector robot that slaps anyone who lies in front of it. He decides to test it out, so he brings the robot along with him at the dinner where his wife and son were accompanying him. Father (asked his son):

Male Or Female

You may be surprised to know that a lot of non-living things can be categorized as male or female. Following are few examples: FREEZER BAGS Male, because they hold everything in, except you can see directly through them. PRINTERS Female, because once turned off, it

Insurance Policy With Urine Sample 5/5 (1)

Morris steps into a insurance office and inquires for a job. “We don’t need anyone at the moment” they replied. “You can’t manage the cost of not to hire me. I can sell anybody, whenever, anything.” “Well we have two proposals that nobody has managed

Bet Made At The Beer Bar

A man enters a bar, and as he advances toward the counter, he stops and talks with everybody in the bar. As he finishes with each group of individuals, they all got up and moved outside the bar, looking in. Eventually, the bar was left

Incredible Understanding Of Husband And Wife

Relationships become way too simple when partners know and understand each other. Here are 2 classic illustrations: 1) As the husband arrives home from club, he tells his wife, Dear, there was a drinking competition at the club tonight. Wife responds promptly, “Who got the

Drunk Man In A Late Night Bus

A drunk man gets on the bus at late night, lurches up the passageway, and sits beside an elderly woman. She glances at the man up and down and says, “I have news for you. You’re going straight to hell!” The man bounces up out

Three Wishes Of A Woman

A woman was out playing golf one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to search for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you set me free from this trap,