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Category Archives: Marriage Jokes

Wife Wants To Know What Husband Likes In Her

Wife asked her husband, “What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied, “I like your sense of humor!” Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would you

Man Needs Divorce Before His Wife Kills Him

A Polish man moved to USA and marrried an American lady. Although his English was not that good, they got along pretty well. One day he went to the lawyer and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said getting

Use In My House Only

Yesterday my mixer stopped, so I went to my neighbor to borrow theirs. They asked me to use the mixer in their house only. So I did. This morning, my neighbor came to borrow my broomstick, so I asked them to use it in my

Woman With Her Ugly Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That is the ugliest baby that I’ve seen at any point in my life. Ugh!” The lady goes to the back of the bus and takes a seat, raging. She says to

Difference Between Confident and Confidential 5/5 (1)

Sam: Dad, what is the difference between Confident and Confidential? Dad: The difference is quite simple. You are my son, I am confident on that. Your best friend “Peter” is also my son, that’s confidential. Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would

Evolution Of Wife’s Contact Number In Married Life 5/5 (1)

A newly married husband saved his wife’s number on his mobile with the name “My life”. After one year, the name changed to “My wife”. After two years, the name changed to “My home”. After five years, the name changed to “Hitler”. After ten years,

Is That Your Family?

A married couple was driving pass a bunch of cows. Guy (while pointing towards the cows): Is that your family? Girl: Yeah. Guy: ? Girl: In-laws. Please follow and like us: Please rate this How would you rate this joke?

Car Parts Stolen 5/5 (1)

Discussion of husband and wife over mobile at night: Wife: Where are you? You sound so nervous. What happened? Husband: I am in my car dear, but the steering wheel, clutch, brake, accelerator all are stolen. What should I do now? Wife: Are you drunk

Husband And Wife Had A Fight

Wife (to mother-in-law): Last night your son and I had a fight. Mother-in-law (to wife): Don’t worry. This keeps on happening in between husband and wife. Wife (to mother-in-law): That’s fine, but what should I do with his dead body now? Please follow and like

Husband Copying Wife

Wife: Had your lunch? Husband: Had your lunch? Wife: I am asking you. Husband: I am asking you. Wife: You are copying me. Husband: You are copying me. Wife: Let’s go shopping. Husband: Yes, I had my lunch. Please follow and like us: Please rate

Conversation Between A Man And His Dying Wife

Conversation between a man and his dying wife: Wife: If i die, will you marry again? Husband: Ofcourse not. you are my love, my life. Wife: No that won’t be fair to you darling. Promise me you will marry again after I am dead. Husband:

Good Trade

A sales person, who was heading towards home in northern Ontario, saw an Indian thumbing for a ride on the side of the street. Since he knew the trip is going to be long and quiet, he stops his car and let the Indian gets

Never Argue With Wife While Shopping 5/5 (1)

Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife. After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25. Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them. Then she finally picked up

Never Argue With Your Wife

A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. Husband: “You aren’t so good in bed either!”. And he stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided to make peace with his wife, so he called her up on phone. After many

Give Me A Good Excuse

A man was speeding his car above the allowed limit. He saw a cop’s car following his car. He thought, he can surpass this guy, so he drove faster and the race was on. As his speedometer passed 100, the man thought, “What the hell,”

Last Wish From Husband To Wife

A man and his wife were sitting in the lounge and he said to her, “Just to make sure you know, I never want to live in a coma state, dependent on some machine and liquids from a bottle. If in case that ever happens,

Husband Trying To Be Loyal

A woman gets back home and discovers her husband in bed with another woman. She got angry and shouts on her husband, “You vowed not to cheat on me again!” The husband replies, “Darling, can’t you see I’m trying? I’ve cut down.” Please follow and

Advice From Men To Women

– Never purchase a “new” brand of beer because “it was on sale”. – If we are in the lawn and the TV in the lodge is on, that doesn’t mean we are not watching it. – Don’t tell anybody we can’t afford a new

Incredible Understanding Of Husband And Wife

Relationships become way too simple when partners know and understand each other. Here are 2 classic illustrations: 1) As the husband arrives home from club, he tells his wife, Dear, there was a drinking competition at the club tonight. Wife responds promptly, “Who got the

Three Wishes Of A Woman

A woman was out playing golf one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to search for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you set me free from this trap,

Factory Only For Married Men

An industry in a small town in US, only used to appoint married men for job. Worried about this, a nearby woman approached the owner of the industry and asked him, “Why is it you restrict your workers to married men? Is it because you

Men Vs Women

SUCCESS: A successful man is one who earns more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can discover such a man. STYLE: Men wake up as gorgeous as they went to bed. Women somehow degrade during the night. MONEY MANAGEMENT: A

Talkative Wife Helps Out The Cop

A male driver who was accompanying his wife in the car is pulled over by a cop: Man: What’s the issue officer? Cop: You were speeding at atleast 75 in a 55 speed limit zone. Man: No sir, I was driving at 65. Wife: Oh

Wish To Genie From A Divorced Man

A man who was strolling along a California beach, discovered an old lamp. As he picked it up and rubbed it, a genie popped out of it. The genie said, “Alright, Thank you for getting me out of the lamp. This is the fourth time

Elderly Woman Needs Birth Control Pills

An elderly woman went to her doctor’s office and said, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Astonished at the woman’s request, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me madam, but your age is 80 plus. What might you conceivably