Man Needs Divorce Before His Wife Kills Him

A Polish man moved to USA and marrried an American lady. Although his English was not that good, they got along pretty well.

One day he went to the lawyer and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said getting divorce will depend on circumstances and he asked a series of questions to him, to which the polish guy gave answers according to his understanding as mentioned below:

Question (From Lawyer): Do you have any grounds?
Answer (From Polish Man): Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home too.

Question (From Lawyer): No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
Answer (From Polish Man): It’s made of concrete.

Question (From Lawyer): I don’t think you understand my question. Does either of you have a real grudge?
Answer (From Polish Man): No we don’t need one, since we already have a carport.

Question (From Lawyer): I mean what are your relations like?
Answer (From Polish Man): All my relations are in Poland.

Question (From Lawyer): Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
Answer (From Polish Man): We have hi-fidelity stereo and a good DVD player.

Question (From Lawyer): Does your wife beat you up?
Answer (From Polish Man): No, I am always up before her.

Question (From Lawyer): Is your wife a nagger?
Answer (From Polish Man): No she is white.

Question (From Lawyer): Why do you want this divorce?
Answer (From Polish Man): She is going to kill me.

Question (From Lawyer): What makes you think that?
Answer (From Polish Man): I have got proof.

Question (From Lawyer): What kind of proof?
Answer (From Polish Man): She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle at drug store, which is kept in the shelf in the bathroom. I can read English well, and it says “POLISH REMOVER”.


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