There were these two professors insisting over which one had the dumbest child. Each professor thought his was the dumbest. The first professor says, “Let me demonstrate it to you. Hello Jake! (Jake rushes to his dad) I don’t know whether I left myself at
Journalist: How do you determine whether a patient needs to be admitted to mental hospital or not? Doctor: Well, we give the patient a bathtub completely filled with water, along with a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket. And ask him to empty the bathtub.
Doctor (To patient): You are very sick. Patient (To doctor); Can I get a second opinion? Doctor (To patient): Yes, you are very ugly too. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Science teacher (explaining to class): Oxygen is must to sustain life. It was discovered in 1773. Dumb student: Thank god, I was born after 1773, else I would have died without it. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
One of the guests (while being angry) calls the waiter and shouts at him, “Why there are no chairs at our table?” The waiter replies calmly, “I’m sorry sir, but you only booked one table.” Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Wife (to mother-in-law): Last night your son and I had a fight. Mother-in-law (to wife): Don’t worry. This keeps on happening in between husband and wife. Wife (to mother-in-law): That’s fine, but what should I do with his dead body now? Please rate this How
A trainee in a multi-national company (MNC) called the CEO by mistake and said: Trainee: Hey, send a cup of coffee quickly. CEO: Do you know with whom you are talking to? Trainee: No. CEO: I am the CEO of this company. Trainee: Do you
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both the man and his wife decide to keep it as a secret for their kids (a boy and a girl) to guess what kind of meat it is. As they all
Wife: Had your lunch? Husband: Had your lunch? Wife: I am asking you. Husband: I am asking you. Wife: You are copying me. Husband: You are copying me. Wife: Let’s go shopping. Husband: Yes, I had my lunch. Please rate this How would you rate
Conversation between a man and his dying wife: Wife: If i die, will you marry again? Husband: Ofcourse not. you are my love, my life. Wife: No that won’t be fair to you darling. Promise me you will marry again after I am dead. Husband:
Reporter: Excuse me, I would like to interview you. Man: Sure, why not? Reporter: Name? Man: Razaaq khan Reporter: Sex? Man: Three to five times each week. Reporter: No! I mean male or female? Man: Yes, male, female and sometimes camel also. Reporter: Holy cow!
A sales person, who was heading towards home in northern Ontario, saw an Indian thumbing for a ride on the side of the street. Since he knew the trip is going to be long and quiet, he stops his car and let the Indian gets
As the old man lies dying in his bedroom, and the family discusses funeral arrangements. Son: We’ll make an enormous arrangement with more than 500 people gathering and 50 limos. First Daughter: Why you want to waste so much money like that? We will invite
Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife. After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25. Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them. Then she finally picked up
Son: Dad, would you like to save some money? Dad: I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Son: Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won’t wear my shoes out so fast. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
A man being robbed by two criminals set up a huge fight. Finally the man was overpowered by the criminals and the criminals took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the astonished criminals asked him, why did he set up such
Dentist: I am sorry to say madam, I might need to charge you hundred dollars for pulling your son’s tooth. Mother: Hundred dollars! But why? We agreed at $20 for this work! Dentist: Agreed, however your son yelled so hard that he scared four patients
A purse snatcher was on trial in a court. as the victim saw him, she said, “Yes he is the one. i can’t forget his face at all.” Upon hearing this, the culprit bursts into laughter and said: You couldn’t see my face, lady. I
A husband and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. Husband: “You aren’t so good in bed either!”. And he stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided to make peace with his wife, so he called her up on phone. After many
Doctor: Please don’t rush. Patient: My son swallowed a razor-blade. Doctor: Try not to panic, I’m coming instantly. Have you done anything while i was on the way? Yea, I shaved with the other electric razor. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
Boss: In this job we require somebody who is responsible. Candidate: I am the one you want. On my last job, every time something turned out badly, they said I was responsible. Please rate this How would you rate this joke?
A girl went to the doctor with her knees all cut up. Doctor: How did you get your knees all cut up? Girl: It’s from making love doggie-style. Doctor: Don’t you know any other position besides doggy style? Girl: Yes I know, but my doggie
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked “How much is 2 + 2?” Housewife: It’s Four. Accountant: I believe it’s either 3 or 4. Give me a chance to run those figures through my spreadsheet once again.” The lawyer pulls the window hangings,
A dentist, subsequent to finishing his work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you please give out your loudest, most excruciating screams? Patient: Why doctor? It wasn’t that bad this time. Dentist: There are so many patients in the waiting room, and
A man was speeding his car above the allowed limit. He saw a cop’s car following his car. He thought, he can surpass this guy, so he drove faster and the race was on. As his speedometer passed 100, the man thought, “What the hell,”